That Floating Poo Was Far Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Past Year.

As we reflect on the television offerings of the past year, a selection of shows emerge not for their excellence, but for their spectacular failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing spin-offs to confusingly bad documentaries, here are the programmes that had us scratching our heads or simply reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

Where to begin with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with woeful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to find its footing. Briefly, as the final series began, it seemed as if it had at last found its groove. Then arrived an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final series. It ended on a bum note; the closeup of Miranda’s loo flooded with poo was just way too on-the-nose. Still, viewers undeniably had a hoot picking apart every single “what on earth?” moment. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – twirled around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't let out a little sob?

All’s Fair

‘Can Kim Kardashian act? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the least of this drama's problems. The subject of a very rare zero star review, it was difficult to know where to begin enumerating the flaws. The laughably leaden dialogue? The tedious glorification of affluence and materialism? The almost deliberate procession of tropes? Performances so bad they felt almost malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this series again. However, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Considering the legal troubles, abuse claims and parental shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a bad boy. Not that you’d truly have known it from this three-part documentary which chuckled along at Sheen’s various bouts of reckless hedonism while struggling to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this loose cannon was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be reserved for the people who have had to suffer close contact with this charming but dismissive narcissist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we understood it was ridiculous from the outset: a drama about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or annihilate all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer love for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One scarcely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in super slow-motion. Talk about giving up the ghost.

The Gangster Drama

Dodgy characters convening in deserted boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many look a little old-fashioned now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to accommodate baffling accents. But there were many other issues. Primarily that it was just profoundly dull; a dispute over drug-selling territory between various cockney rogues which felt rather simplistic.

With Love, Meghan

Considering the degree to which she grinds the gears of certain ostentatiously enraged commentators, it’s almost easy to applaud the Duchess of Sussex’s televised forays into twee homemaking as intentional provocations. But then you watch them and are forced to admit that in this case, they may have a point. It’s like watching a homeware magazine animated; a meme for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a parade of snoozing dogs, humming beehives, sentimental sayings and pointless crafting “tips” you’ll not remember instantly. All underpinned by immense, mostly undeserved wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are clearly fascinating things to be discussed about regarding Victoria Beckham and her struggles with career, identity, self-acceptance. But for whatever reason, this three-part series chose not to say them. Instead, the viewing was like reading a marketing brochure. She clearly has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But unfortunately, she failed to do herself any helps with this cagey letdown of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a famous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality overseeing her estate. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and squabbling. But the rules quickly became bewildering: it’s even now too confusing to explain what exactly was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw glimpses of the star via filmed videos. The show ended up smelling of a production that was trying way too hard to emulate something way beyond it.

Too Much

How does one succeed a show that defined a generation? The expectation was enormous for this glitzy romcom about Jessica, a rosy-eyed New Yorker who arrives in London with a shattered romance. The star took her biggest role by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic notions. But it was all very glossy and, ironically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous friends involved felt uncomfortable.

The Sketch Show Return

Not even good enough to be ‘patchy’.

Given the shrewd inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But unhappily, most of it fell flat. A recurring sketch was a one-note joke stretched to a dry pulp but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a familiar irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, meanwhile, simply provoked the thought that they should probably have remained in there a bit longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was executive produced by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely showcased the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there probably is an interesting drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be handled with care. Rather, the series struggled painfully to find the right tone, lurching from oddly breezy, slightly stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Twisted? Perhaps. A complete mess? Very much so.

Prime Target

We admire the lead actor … but did we believe him playing the greatest maths genius in history, a man so intelligent he’s on the brink of a breakthrough that could destabilise society? Nope! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – academics frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality renowned for explicit exploits as she prepared for her most extreme feat yet. What on earth would possess her? What we wanted was way more interrogation of her true psyche, plus those of the men in the queue. They could at least have interviewed the now-famous mum who showed up to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was horrific imagery and absolutely no critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.